It's cheaper than Vicodin, and almost as fun!Next thing you know, hospital halls will be filled with profanity as the economic downturn will lead physicians to find cheaper means of pain relief. Kids will present doctor's notes to teachers allowing them to cuss in the middle of class.
And people with Tourette's will finally be accepted by society. Not only that, they will become valuable medical consultants.
But be careful. Swearing is addictive. Before you know it, you'll need to swear more and more just to get the same high. Case in point, just try to play Mario Kart with Veronica Steege.
!@#%xx&***@&)#!
ReplyDeleteWhew, now I feel a whole lot better. :)
I must share a joke called "Those Damn Corn Flakes":
One morning, two brothers were in their bedroom getting dressed. The older brother was all excited because today was his 13th birthday.
"Now that I'm 13, I get to say cuss words," he told his younger 9-year-old brother. "When do I get to cuss?" he asked his older bro. "Not until you're my age," he said. "Well, what cuss words will you be saying now?" the little bro asked him. "Hmmm...I'm not sure yet. I'll have to think about it."
Their mother then called the boys into the kitchen for breakfast. She asked the older brother what he would like for breakfast. Feeling this was the time to express his first cuss word to the world, he told his mom, "I'll have some of those damn Corn Flakes." After the mother heard her son's cuss word, she immediately became outraged and smacked him with her hand, sending him off the chair onto the floor into a corner.
The upset mother looked at the frightened younger boy and then asked, "Now, what do you want for breakfast?" He looked fearfully at his brother lying in the corner whimpering, and then said, "I'm not sure -- but I sure as hell don't want any of those damn Corn Flakes!"
lulz!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up in the South, I heard a slightly different version:
ReplyDeleteOne day, a father of two boys goes to church and hears a fine sermon on the evils of cursing. Remorseful, he goes home and realizes that his sons have picked up his own bad habit and routinely use language that would shock most sailors. Before he goes to sleep, he prays about it and decides to save their souls by teaching them that cursing is wrong.
The next morning, he gets up early and fixes a nice breakfast. As the older son trudges down the stairs, he summons his most formally polite demeanor and asks: "Good morning, my son. What would you like for breakfast on this fine day?" His son looks at him strangely, then sleepily shrugs it off and replies: "'Sokay, don't want nothin' fancy... just give me some of the goddamn Corn Flakes."
***SMACK*** He knocks the boy halfway across the room, to huddle in the corner whimpering.
The younger son fearfully peers around the corner of the stairs. The father turns and asks him, "Good morning to you as well, my son. What would you like for breakfast on this fine day?"
After a long silence, the boy stammers "A-a-a-anything is okay... but I sure as hell don't want any of those goddamn Corn Flakes!"
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(Sorry for just jumping in - I found this site at random, and thought you might be amused by the Southern version of the joke. (^_^) )
Well done, southern friend.
ReplyDelete