Dude, I Am So Hungry

After smoking weed, everyone has the same two questions on his or her mind. Where can I get some food, and how can I get it with the least amount of effort on my part? Well you may or may not know that chefs get high, too. Where do they go when the inevitable attack of the munchies rages through their body like super-gonorrhea?

Well it turns out, according to the New York Times, that there are entire groups of restaurants designed for chefs who are a bit stoned. Yep, stoned chefs cooking for other stoned chefs because, well, they're stoned.

I can just imagine a conversation between chef and chef at one of these restaurants:

Chef 1: This is delicious. What is it?

Chef 2: Oh that's a deep-fried hot pocket slathered in barbeque sauce and served over my specially seasoned Doritos casserole.

Chef 1: Mmm, delectible. Is this a grilled gyro inside of a steak burrito with...

Chef 2: That's right, pure ranch dressing. Because everyone knows a stoner can't live without ranch dressing.

Chef 1: Fantastico!

Cooking for stoners has to be one of the easiest jobs there is. Plus you can charge anything. Stoners don't care what they're paying, as long as you offer delivery.

This has been an anti-drug PSA by the Jumping Brooks Foundation for a Sober Tomorrow.

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PS. Jumping Brooks now has a fan page on facebook. Search for "Jumping Brooks: A Blog You Should Blog About" and click the "like" button to be a fan.

Seacrest, Out?

Just wondering, do you find this ad as creepy as I do? "Yes, send Seacrest clips of your children. Seacrest loves them. Mwahahahaha."

How the Census Changed My Opinion on Health Care

As anyone who lives in this country can tell you, the U.S. Census is a racist questionaire form that each citizen is forced to fill out. Even homeless people. My friend worked for the U.S. Census and said that in order to get the homeless on record, they drove around in a van at night and shined flashlights on any drifter on the street, saying, "Hey, can we ask you a few questions?"

Of course, most run away. If someone jumped out of a van and shined a flashlight at me trying to ask questions I'd run, too. (This is not a joke, it's the actual way they do it.)

But it was my experience with the U.S. Census that has changed my opinion on health care. My roommate filled out the form and sent it in. 2 weeks later, we recieved the form again. My roommate filled it in a second time and sent it in. 2 weeks later, a census person showed up at our door and sat down with my roommate and filled it in. 2 weeks after that, a census person showed up again and filled the form out with me. 1 week later (today) I got a phone call from the census person asking me even more questions.

Thats five times we've filled out this stupid form. And everyone knows the only thing they care about is whether or not you're Latino. So when they asked me about my roommate's ethnicity, I had to say he was half Puerto Rican, which made me feel like I was outing him to the government.

I was all for universal health care. I'd love to have socialized medicine. But now that I've seen how incredibly poorly the government runs a stupid little 10 question form, I can't see how they wouldn't mess up health care.

Hey Census people, I'M WHITE! QUIT ASKING!