"Hi, I'm Wearing 50 Pairs of Underwear"

Inspired by an event that took place not five minutes ago:

A knock on my door. I open it.

Girl: Hi. I'm wearing 50 pairs of underwear. I'm raising 50 pounds for [whatever cause she was supporting]. Will you... pay me?

My inner thoughts: I'd rather you weren't wearing any underwear. In fact, I'd be more likely to pay you for that.

What I actually said: Sure.

Gave her 4 pounds. Didn't bother to count the pairs of underwear.

I'm all for raising money for causes. Usually I support causes without even knowing what causes they are (see instance above). What I am not for is doing stupid things to "raise awareness" for something.

Just ask me for money. I'm supporting the cause, not you wearing 50 articles of clothing or walking 5 k or attempting to fit as many popsicles into every orifice of your body as possible. Don't cause more suffering to eliminate suffering.

Underpants in the News

It's no secret that people have moon fever thanks to the anniversary of the historic Apollo 11 moon landing. But anyone who has ever dropped their pants in a public area knows the best thing after a mooning is a solid pair of underpants.

An article by the Associated Press says a Japanese astronaut is coming back to Earth after wearing the same pair of underwear for the past month. The underwear is part of a Japanese developed clothing line for astronauts that is supposedly anti-bacterial, water absorbant, and odor-eliminating.

One must wonder exactly how much ball-sweat the underwear can hold. Even if it were sterilized and odor free, I can't say I'd want the same swamp-ass laden briefs hugging my luscious curves for a whole month.

The best part of the story is that scientists are going to examine the underwear when the astronaut comes back. Now, I've heard of some crappy experiments... (buh-dum tshhh).

Someone should notify Mike Rowe that there is another Dirty Jobs episode on the way.