You Owe Us More Than Money, California!

You know that guy who always hangs around and drinks your booze and generally mooches off you, claiming, "I'll pay you back, dude. You know I'm good for it."?

Well the state of California is taking a page directly out of that guy's Moocher Handbook. The state government is issuing IOU's to everyone from businesses to college students who are owed money by the state because California is essentially broke. The IOU's claim that the holder can exchange them in October with 3.75% interest.

It's time we let California fall into the sea. What has California done for you lately? Produced shows like The Hills? That show is like a cancer on our society's intelligence. Watch it and you'll feel your IQ drop like a texter down a New York City manhole.

The new 90210? Who even liked the old one?

And honestly when is the last time something really good came out of Hollywood? It's all been sequels and remakes for a long time. Nothing original.

Before California goes, we'll take back Conan. The rest of it, we'll kick like a bad habit.

Moocher friends gotta go, and moocher states are no exception. Unless they can pay us back with all that weed they've been hoarding.

If Your Boyfriend Says He's Got Beef, Well Good. KFC Is Out of Chicken

The Chicago Tribune reports that KFC offered a free meal to customers, which was promoted on The Oprah Winfrey Show. The trouble was that demand was so high that the company had to scale back it's offer, allowing some people who had printed out the coupon to come to the restaurant for an IOU.

Two individuals took the only logical course of action. They sued KFC for not forking over the fowl, claiming false advertising, among other charges.

Some crass racists might make a joke about getting between people of a certain race and their fried chicken. But let's be honest, who doesn't love fried chicken? This does not concern one race, but the entire human race.

That is why I applaud the efforts of these heroes who realize that, although KFC has changed it's name from Kentucky Fried Chicken, the "C" still stands for CHICKEN!

Colonel Sanders, I await an apology... and reparations for the slaves... and biscuits.