Boredom is Illegal

The Chicago Tribune reports that a man in Joliet has been sentenced to six months in jail for yawning too loudly. The man was at his cousin's court hearing and yawned just as the judge was passing the sentence. The judge then ordered that the sleepy spectator be held in contempt of court.

Yes, let's forget that the jails are overcrowded as it is. Forget that the government doesn't have a dollar to spare for more prisons. Forget that there are thieves, murderers, and worst of all pot smokers wandering the streets.

What we need is to crack down on yawning. And for that matter, let's crack down on all bodily functions. Blinking? That won't fly, sucker. Breathing? Cut it out. Gotta pee? Not in my town.

Last time I checked, this was America. Home of the brave, not the bored. If you want to yawn willy-nilly why don't you go back to Cuba, communist?