Must Be The Money

Recently, the Chicago Tribune broke the story that the University of Illinois has been accepting some students based on their financial prosperity, rather than the merits of their scholastic accomplishments. The Chancellor of the school found the need to send an e-mail of explanation to the students explaining the situation.

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I don't know why people are complaining. Ivy League schools do this all the time. How can we expect to be the Harvard of the Midwest if we have a bunch of smart poor people coming to our school? We need the economic elite! We need people who walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment and superiority if we ever expect to compete with schools of higher reputation!

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A school cannot live on the funds of alumni alone. And these same complainers whine about a bell tower being built on the south quad when Lincoln Hall or the English Building are falling apart. People, we clearly need a large phallic object to satisfy the huge, old, blown-out vagina that is the Undergrad Library!

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So quit your whining! Intelligence never got anybody anywhere. Money, on the other hand, buys moving sidewalks on the quad. Think about that.

Gonna Have You Naked By the End of This Blog

The New York Times reports that the Supreme Court has asked that the Third Appeals Court give "further consideration" to their overturning of the fines from the F.C.C. that resulted from Janet Jackson's exposed breast during the halftime performance with Justin Timberlake at the 2004 Super Bowl.

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The unexpected partial nudity lasted nine sixteenths of a second during halftime, but stayed in the mammary, ehem, memory of America more than the entire game.  Hey, some guys only need nine sixteenths of a second (right JohnO?  That's right, you got a shoutout on my blog).

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For God sakes, people, can't we just let the boobs go?  (Your "that's what she said" responses are duly noted.)  I mean damn America, haven't we milked this for long enough?  

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Is anyone even still offended by boobs?

High School Can Be Murder

The Chicago Tribune reports that producers of a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street are negotiating with Chicago school district 214 to do some filming at Elk Grove and John Hersey High School (my high school)!
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I can't think of a more perfect place for a horror movie to be filmed. High school is very much like a torture chamber, and my school certainly serves as a great example of suburban hell.
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It would be SO cool if Freddy killed someone in one of my former classrooms! If it is shot at Hersey, chances are good he'll be putting some unfortunate soul out of his misery.