It's easy to blame MTV's The Jersey Shore for a lot of things. Racism, stupidity, sexism, abs. But perhaps most unforgivable of transgressions is the popularization of the Bumpit™.
No, the Bumpit™ is not a kinky sex move. It's a glorified hair band that makes it look like there's a giant malignant tumor on your head. If you don't know what I mean take a look at Snooki. On second thought, hers might actually be a tumor.Best of all, the Bumpit™ website has testimonials. That's right, people who actually took the time to explain how the Bumpit™ has changed their lives. But what is interesting about these testimonials is that they don't really say anything positive about the product.
For example, one lady wrote, "Almost immediately they noticed our model." Not, "they loved the model" or "everyone complimented the turtle shell of hair on her head". Just "they noticed". Of course they did. She probably looked like John Merrick.
Also, note that this quote is from "P.K., Beauty Buyer, Large Corp." Ah yes, Large Corp. Where they make all the larges. Someone should trustbust that monopoly. I'm tired of buying larges from only one corporation.
Ladies, the sooner you can get it through your heads that the Bumpit™ is a ridiculous piece of headwear, the sooner we can get this country back on track.
