Brilliant Idea: Barstucks

Sometimes you have an idea so good you just have to share it before it slips away.  This is one of those ideas.

My idea is to open a chain of bars called Barstucks Coffee.  They will look like Starbucks Coffee in every way, except the sign says "Barstucks Coffee".  You may be thinking, "Hey Mike, won't people get confused and end up walking into your bar looking for coffee?"  Shut up right now and stop interrupting my blog with your stupid thoughts.

Yes, people will walk into my bars by mistake.  That's part of the point.  They will walk in and ask for a tall chai mocha latte, and the bartender will say, "We don't serve coffee."  But the customers won't be upset once they find out they don't have to deal with the whiny, douchey, better-than-you cumstains who work at Starbucks and they can get a trenta of vodka.  And you can get it in a to-go cup!

Now, you may be thinking, "Won't to-go cups of alcohol encourage drunk driving?"  I thought I told you to shut up.  Interrupt my blog with your thoughts one more time and see what happens.

The cups won't encourage drunk driving because the bartender will write "Don't drink and drive" on each cup in Sharpie.  And once you accept something written in Sharpie, you have to accept it as law.  It's called "Sharpie Law".

Barstucks Coffee may infringe on some copyrights and trademarks, may include false advertising, and may increase alcoholism.  But is it that much worse than elitist snobs correcting you when you order a small, medium, or large and having a bunch of caffeine-crazed drivers road-raging to work every morning?


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