Tips For Picking Up Girls From A Guy With Game

The world is full of lonely guys.  Why?  Because they don't know how to pick up girls.  Fortunately, I'm here to help.  You may ask, "Hey, why should I take advice about picking up girls from a guy who doesn't have a girlfriend".  To that I say please stop talking to my blog.  I can't hear you through the monitor.

Above:  My greatest
achievement

As for why I don't have a girlfriend, I suffer from a rare condition known as "too much game".  Every once in a while, I have to have a game removal operation.  I donate the extracted game to Parker Brothers or Milton Bradley.  Remember the game Mousetrap?  That was me.  Crossfire?  Right here.

I also tell a lot of lies, as I just demonstrated.  I don't know if that's a thing, but if it is I have that, too.

Girls, you may already be wondering what's in this post for you.  Well I'm helping you by making your choices of men more desirable and increasing the dating market.  You're welcome.  So here are some tips for picking up girls from a guy with game to spare.

- Show her you're interested.  A great pick-up line can signal that you want to pursue her.  Try this one, "I want to put some stuff in you.  Namely several more drinks followed by my peen".  There is no way in the world that can possibly fail.

Tell her the Empire State
Building is located in
Atlantis

- Confidence is key.  Show your confidence by making outlandish, ridiculous statements.  Then refuse to admit you're wrong, no matter what evidence you're presented with.  Claim that Tiger Woods is the 43rd President of the United States.  Say that the best Rum and Coke is made with neither Rum nor Coke.  Say Tron: Legacy was way better than the original and deserved Best Picture.  Don't concede any of your stances at any cost.

- Girls like a bad boy.  You can best demonstrate that you're a bad boy by pushing her down in front of her friends.  Don't hurt her or push her into traffic or anything, just enough to make her fall down.  Every girl is taught when she is little that if a boy pushes her on the playground, he likes her.  Same thing goes for when you're older.

- Make her laugh.  If you're not funny, there's only one other option.  Tickle her.  Tickle her until she pees.  She'll be so turned on by your ability to make her laugh and so embarrassed by the pee that she will need to leave immediately.  So you'll pretty much have to go back to her place.

Above:  People not looking stupid.

- Learn to dance.  The Conga, the Macarena, and the YMCA are all great dances that will have her swooning for you in no time.

- Be tall.  If you're short, quit being so short and start being a little taller.

If you can pull off all of these tips, you are sure to be an amazing pick-up artist in no time.  Or, I don't know, just be yourself or something.  I don't care.

Like it on Facebook.