In My Family, We Don't Need Fireworks

On the 4th of July, many families like to blow off fireworks in celebration. My family doesn't need to. Why, you ask? Well because we are perfectly capable of getting seriously injured and destroying stuff without them.

My aunt, who has a bad knee to begin with, came to our 4th party. So already she was having trouble getting around. But her family decided to bring their 120-150 pound dog, who has torn both of his ACLs and has been knocking on death's door for a solid 3 years to the party. Meanwhile, my dog, a dog of the same age but much smaller and more lively, is in attendence with a 7 month old puppy that my other family members brought.

So old, big dog needs his medicine, which my aunt sticks in a piece of cheese to feed to him. Of course the other two dogs jump for it, and the big dog, sensing he might lose the opportunity to chomp some cheddar, snaps at it, biting my aunt to the bone. The wound became infected. So not only is she on one leg, but now she has only one hand to operate with.

Not long after she got home from the party we got a call from her. She will be starting a new antibiotic regiment in the hopes of avoiding surgery on her hand. In the mean time, my cousin (her son) left his bike in the garage and didn't pull it in far enough. So the garage door slammed down on it, crushing the new bike and somehow blowing out all of the windows in the garage (don't bother to ask me how, I have no idea).

Meanwhile, my other cousin (my aunts daughter) calls from a police station in Madison. Apparently she lost her purse and someone has been using her debit card all night.

So my family managed to injur a hand, destroy a bike and several windows, and lose a lot of money without fireworks. A happy 4th of July indeed.