Scientific American reports that scientist have genetically engineered a virus that can be used to assemble batteries. The virus only infects bacteria and is not harmful to humans... yet..
Clearly these scientists have never seen the movie I Am Legend. Once the virus mutates and goes airborne, it will most likely spread to all machines that use batteries. This will cause an outbreak of zombie electronics that will rise up and force the few surviving humans to live in enclosed shelters and seal themselves inside after dark.
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My advice, should this occur, is to stay away from Radio Shack and Brookstone (don't trust the massage chair, it won't be a 'nice' touch). Also, being Will Smith helps.
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